The Haters
The Haters

I recently wrapped up a launch of my NursePreneur Business Academy through a webinar I did and quite a bit of positive response.

I recently wrapped up a launch of my NursePreneur Business Academy through a webinar I did and quite a bit of positive response.

But not everyone was happy. I got an email from Jennifer:

“YOUR ANNOYING ME AND YOUR STUFF SUCKS!”

Yes in all capitals.

Then I got an email from Cara who said:

“Your webinar was hella boring. Is this a pyramid scheme? You’re an idiot”

Ok, I can appreciate that the webinar wouldn’t appeal to everyone, but what possesses people to send such negative emails?

I made both of them angry enough to take time out of their day to send me a nasty-gram.

Then I thought that maybe it’s a sign of a bigger issue.

As nurses we are trained to be martyrs of the healthcare system. I’ve even read blog posts where the older nurses were competing on who got paid less to do more. Really? Is this something to be proud of?

I’ll admit, I’ve played victim to the healthcare system.

After all, no one listened to me, no one acknowledged my amazing contribution to the hospital system, no one appreciated the long hours I worked off the clock, no one asked me to be the leader when I deserved to be.

So what did I do? I complained. I complained loudly and obnoxiously. Give me an anonymous survey and I would rip people to shreds.

I always had something negative to say in hospital meetings and committees, but usually nothing constructive. And I certainly forgot my childhood training that you catch more bees with honey. To be honest, I was a jerk who focused on myself and what was everyone doing for me? I finally left the hospital system angry, bitter and stagnant in my career as a nurse practitioner.

What’s going on here? Here’s the thing, for me, I didn’t dare to stand up and be heard. When you are the leader, people are going to love you and hate you.

This knowledge came back to haunt me when I started my business. I wanted to tread lightly, not offend anyone. I worried about every e-mail that went out, after all, I wouldn’t want to bother anyone.

And guess what happened? Well nothing happened. And if I stayed on the path, still nothing would be happening.

Being the martyr is easy (although a miserable mindset to have). My fear of being criticized or scrutinized or rejected was more powerful than my will to succeed for a long time.

It took a good year of soul searching and learning about myself that I finally decided to be my self-appointed leader.  Nothing worth having comes easy.

It’s been a long road finding my voice and overcoming my fears of the Jennifers and Caras of the world. They could have easily destroyed my self-confidence at a different time.

But the more my business grows, the clearer it becomes that Cara won’t go away. She is going to multiply and intensify.  Some people exist just to bring you down.

But let me turn this around for you and reframe it:

Jennifer and Cara should be a measure of success in your life.  If no one is criticizing you or throwing proverbial tomatoes at you, then you’re walking along the sidelines and no one is noticing you.

The more successful you are, the more impactful you will be, and the more Cara and Jennifer will lash out at you.

Are you ready for that?

If you see your success as a direct correlate to your impact, then I promise you people will both love and hate you. This certaintiy is an absolute.

If you don’t have any Caras in your life, then you need to push yourself to the next level of success.

And when Cara and Jennifer start coming out of the woodwork, you celebrate because you have just achieved a new height in your life.

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